Satyawaan's deep slumber and Savitri's ordeal

A cord  severed and a bond snapped

cords  hanging charred and lifeless in ether

an opportunity wasted a celestial coincidence ignored

sun shone bright 

earth below her feet felt parched and cracked

thorn poked through her weary soles

Satyawans lifeless form lay there in the setting sun

Savitri  vows to change the situation..

she gets up and stands against the sun 

picks up a dry stick lying close by

she hits out at the setting sun for going down too early too soon

tears running out of her eyes, 

she is hitting and lashing at the sun

cursing it from deep in her heart

it was suppose to stay up forever

shining and showing them the way

she cries tears falling on the ground

next to Satyawaan's still form

she is beyond grief, the deep dark descending night engulfs her heart

she is choked with pain, a song of deep meloncholy fills the space

goddess sings, in the cool stillness of the night

a howling moaning monotony of death like sounds

savitri feels no fears those howls in the air do not scare her

her pain of seperation has made her indifferent to fear

she lies next to satyawaan embracing him 

she holds him with all the love her heart could muster

she looks at the star lit sky and gazes at it with blankness

A star far away twinkles for her attention

startled she notices it becoming brighter and bigger

soon it is as big as the sun

dark night and a sun brighter than a thousand suns, right  before her eyes

Now she knows the sun she grieved for was meant to go down with the dusk

It was this sun that she awaited, she stares wordlessly in utter disbelief

she nudges Satyawaan to see it for himself, so he may see that  it is not over yet

what they thought was lost was never meant for them

it was this brighter than brightest star that awaited to be awakened by deep calling from their hearts

only a call made in such pain could be heard universes away

"He heard us, he is here for us, wake up O! Satyawaan"...

she whispers the eternal truth into his ears as a medium of the goddess

howling winds cease their morose songs of gloom

a being steps out of the mighty sun and touches Satyawaan's forehead

day breaks, satyawaan realizes the truth behind the veil

he opens his heart to a new dawn

the cord that were charred, begin to show patches of green
new leaves, new shoots, new life breathes into the lifeless form again

 dewy air carries the message of love to him

He wakes up from his sleep to find the love supreme.

The Grace of Giving.

Sahikya was learning how to be a real monk, his childhood revolved around cleaning his master Taro's little cottage to perfection, working in the fields and going to the village with his teacher asking for grains.

His master emphasized on consuming only half of the grains donated to them and sow the rest in the field .When the crop was harvested  it was used to feed the poor and crippled.

His master Taro left the physical plane when Sahikya completed his training.He continued his practice of begging for grains, sowing half and donating the crops to the needy. All the wasteland on the outskirts were transformed into lush green fields over time. When villagers noticed he is producing far bigger crop than their fields, they refused to donate  any more grains to him.

He went hungry for days, his master then appeared in his dream and told him he must now break the rule or he will not have the strength to work in the fields and feed the poor anymore, such a sacrifice is wasteful. He said "If your penance is not bringing any good to the world, instead it is confining you to some irrelevant moral fulfillment then it is a waste."He told him to eat a part of his own produce and donate the rest to the poor but instruct them now to work with him and encourage them to grow their own food grains by sowing at least half of what they receive from him.

Poor people of the village obediently followed his instructions out of their love for him and respect for his generosity. Soon the entire arid stretch for several miles on the outskirts of the village turned into granaries. While the villager's crops dried and their stored grains rotted over time, they went hungry, in a barter economy survival became difficult.

They realized their mistake and went to the zen master asking him to forgive their selfish short sightedness.Sakhiya  showed compassion for those confused beings, he asked them to join the beggars who had now become workers in his fields and earn their own livelihood with humility and donate at least half to the poor.

When we share  what we have happily with others and use our resources thoughtfully nature rewards us limitlessly.When we cook for others happily food is tastier, when we plant a tree for others it bears more fragrant  flowers and sweeter fruits. When we pray for others it is always heard. More we give of ourselves freely to the world more comes our way through the universe.

Just like a river that flows through, giving nurturing pure water selflessly to the world and nature makes sure that it reaches the ocean, while a pond stores and stagnates water, it has little usage except to provide a home for fish and wild plants. It eventually putrefies or dries out completely.

Principle of energy is flawless; one who allows his resources to flow freely becomes a channel of the divine source and those who hold on to their resources remain confined to them.

Indian Monsoons

Those slow days are here again,
All green with showering cool rain
squirrels chirp and crows crow
sun filters through the neem leaves
sometimes I hear a koyal cooing and a peacock in the distance
spider lillies spray the fragrance of  village ponds
lined by smooth slippery earth and water hyacinths.
stray dogs jostle for affection during my post dinner walks.
I feel such exuberance in my being
all things stay still and move at the same time
oh! the slow juiciness of it
the joy of morning sounds
insects crawling on bark of trees
dark sweet fruits on jamuns and curry leaves
mint chutneys and mango shorbet
Indian monsoons at their best
the twilight zone of the seasons
A time of transition and transformation
I am falling in love with the existence all over again.

Circle of life

Celestial music played as Gandharvas and Demigods descended into prithviloka (planet earth). Pushkarni was the keeper of holy waters in heavens. Because of his temperament he took birth as a brahmin, even as a human he did not loose his pious qualities. He prayed, helped others and gave away anything excess to the poor. Life remained blissful even in human form till his very old age.

Devi watching him from above was concerned that maya is not affecting Pushkarni, how will he complete his experience and learning cycle. Sri Narayana smiled and asked her to watch patiently.

A few days later drought hit the village, people went hungry for weeks, animals died, fields were parched. Brahmin lost his wife and children to the drought. For the first time he was out on the street begging, people whom he helped all his life ignored and humiliated him, some men angry and helpless attacked him and vented out their frustration on him. He could no longer walk straight after the merciless beating he had to move on the ground like an animal. He had lost everyone he loved, his gentleness did not help him to fend for himself. Mauled, hurt and angry now, he experienced rage. An emotion that he had never known before. He hid in the forest and joined a group of hyenas, he scavenged on the dead and sometimes joined them in the hunt. He was transformed into an animal.

In the next birth he became a wood cutter because of his previous life's influence he had a violent animal like streak in him. To satisfy that urge he killed and hacked several innocent people.Ultimately
villagers discovered his secret and hacked him to death.

In his next birth the streak of raw violence was satiated by the wrestling. He was born as a strong boy and was raised to become a wrestler. He took out his inner violence through the act of wrestling. Winning over opponents introduced a new emotion in him, It was ego. He experienced ego fulfillment in that life.

His violence took form of incessant anger, in his next birth as a temple priest he constantly yelled at his subordinates. Discriminated against the under privileged. His venomous words were legendary, people avoided him because they feared his verbal wrath.

When most of the anger he accumulated in his first birth was vented out he was born as a wise guy. He was calmer but his intelligence fuelled his ego. People went to him for advice but his ego difficult to manage.He was the most well read person in the city, respected by all, but his marriage failed, his wife left him because of his over inflated ego that made him treat her like a menial servant not worthy of his love.

And the cycle continued for several lifetimes, Pushkarni's soul grew weary of the repeated experiences of violence, anger, ego and control. It was then that he was born as a little girl to a cloth merchant. She was a vivacious little being, a source of joy to everyone around.

When she was 7 years old an enlightened bhikshu was passing by, she offered him water and fruits. When he blessed her he saw how a pious soul got caught in the web of maya and has been circling in it for centuries. He felt pity for the little girl and gave her the gift of love and compassion so the soul can reform itself and rise back to its place in heaven.The gift attracted people to her she offered healing and nurturing, but it also attracted beings whom the same souls had harassed, killed, mauled and hurt in previous lives.They all wanted resolution.

Poor girl was burdened by these beings wrath and resentment, but she chose compassion and love as her tool. Harder they pressed on her in both physical and non physical form more she persevered, with time most of the debts were payed off. The experience made her more aware and wiser. Her essence exuded pure love and ecstasy of the divine. The ordeal had polished off the grime and dirt that settled on her beings and she sparkled like a diamond again.

Devi now invited her to ascend back into the heaven as the experience and the lesson was complete.

A mountain of struggle.

In the earliest years of human civilization there was a  mountain region with lush green trees and sparkling streams. There was a young man, who had immense physical strength. His body was tough like a rock and his arms could pull out big trees from the ground.

He had no name because he had been by himself ever since he could remember. His only companion was a little blue bird. The bird was very attached to the young man . She sat on his shoulder all day as he wandered through the forest, she chirped in the morning to wake him up and crooned till he slept in the night.

One day the two of them encountered a big steep hill on their way, they had come so far up in the valley it was difficult to go back to the precipitous dark canopy. The young man as usual started using his brute strength to break the rocks that blocked his way but breaking that hill was a very difficult task.It was made of a single piece of hard granite. He injured his hands and elbows in the process, the blue bird was watching this, sitting on his shoulder; she felt his pain.

More he struggled more his arrogance in his physical strength took over. He fought even harder and when the bird tried to stop him he yelled at the bird in his rage. Saddened and hurt, the bird flew off his shoulder to reassess the situation, as soon as she flew higher she realized the task was not about breaking the hill but to take a precarious bend on one of the side ,then it opened into a valley which was hidden to him. She realized what they thought was a dead end was a very sharp hair-pin bend.

The bird flew back to the young man in a hurry to give him this good news. By then he was like a wounded animal, closed to all reasoning and in a state of extreme anger. When she went close to talk to him and tell him about the bend, he vented out his frustration on her, he pulled and nipped at her feathers in anger and dashed her fragile body against the rocks.In spite of being grievously hurt she tried telling him about the bend. He heard her yet he ignored her and fought incessantly with the mountain.

The bird was injured and heartbroken. She flew back to her father in the sky. The father took care of her feathers and healed her heart. He told her "My precious little blue bird, all beings are required to learn their own lessons, sometimes we tend to interfere too much to help them because we cant see them suffer, but this interference can cost us a lot, so watch like a witness, sooner or later he will learn his lesson or its his destiny to die fighting the unbeatable."

The bird understood, with a heavy heart she went and sat on her father's shoulder and watched the young man struggle below the clouds.

After struggling, cutting and bleeding for days, he felt extreme exhaustion. He now figured that climbing this hill may be easier than breaking it. So he pulled up his injured body slowly and painfully. Every step was a test of his strength. The bird watching it from above missed a breath every time he stumbled, yet she sat their and prayed for his success.

Two days later he was on top of the mountain, day was breaking and beautiful honey orange rays of the sun filtered through the valley. He realized how much he had suffered to accomplish something so trivial, all he had to do was to listen to his little bird. But his ego and arrogance in his physical strength made him suffer beyond limits.He was full of repentance at his stupidity. He felt bad about hurting the bird. He felt ashamed that he ruined so many days of his life, suffered immense physical pain and lost his little blue bird in his blindness to conquer this small hill.

Blue bird looked at her heavenly father, he smiled knowingly. It was time for her to go back to the man and be with him again.

'Letting go' is one of the toughest lessons to learn on the earth for some souls.When we cant let go we end up causing immense suffering to ourselves and to others. Little blue bird could not 'let go' because of her love and attachment so she suffered, the young man suffered because he could not 'let go' of his overwhelming ego and self assurance and in turn he made the little bird suffer.

Civilization of the wolves.

On a star system several million light years away from the earth, a planet was bubbling with a unique life form.That Planet was located at 112 degrees west of the star Celeron.

It was inhabited by a large population of wolf-humans. Their race was violent, carnivorous and opportunistic. Surprisingly  their leader was a human adolescent boy who had no arms or armour, all he had was his flute.He played it to keep the violent mobs pacified.

The race of wolfmen was tied to the lower principles. His flute could not keep them enchanted forever, once a violent wolf defied the boy's authority and attacked him. Boy stood up and pointed a finger towards the sky, a bolt of lighting came down and stuck the wolf dead.All the wolves accepted his authority out of fear after the incidence.

Life carried on with this enforced subservience and controlled violence but not for long. A group of powerful wolves could not contain their resentment. They called the other supporters and decided to kill the boy in his sleep.

They killed the boy in a surprise attack, the violence triggered an uncontrolled chain reaction and wolves started killing each other in a state of unabated violence. Soon the last of them was lying on the ground torn and hacked to death.

Nature always has a plan to keep the wheel of life moving. One young mother had more human character than wolf . She displayed compassion and attachment. When the violence erupted she went and hid herself and her newborn in the forest.

For once peace was restored on the planet but not for long. A loner and outcasted male wolf wandered off from the crowd long before the violence. Now the smell of death and blood pulled him back.He claimed power over the helpless mother as his mate. One afternoon he eyed the baby wolf and was about to attack him.

The mother saw the violent look in his eyes. To protect her young she evoked the wolf part of her being and destroyed him with the most savage violence one can imagine. When meek and gentle souls are cornered beyond limits they are capable of tapping into their latent violence and transform it into immense force.

Before the last of the male died he impregnated her. Life continued on the planet but in a gentler form since all descendants carried the seed of the mother.
She was the only one to realize that the adolescent human ruler was not sent to rule them but to trigger their own destruction and pave the path for a gentler and compassionate life on the planet.

Bhagvat Gita mentions this principle of the universe:

yada yada hi dharmasya
glanir bhavati bharata
abhyutthanam adharmasya
tadatmanam srjamy aham.

Where ever and whenever  in the universe the principles of harmony and justice are defied,

the supreme force itself  descends in various forms to restore the balance.

Goddess of Peace

It was a furious battle being fought between the Huns and Metzian soldier. Razell was commanding the Huns.His fierce warriors were throwing heavy blows on the enemies. But fighting and defending from the enemy coming from the top of the mountain was tough.

A heavy club injured his shoulder and knee from the back and he fell unconscious, the battle continued.When he regained his consciousness, he saw himself lying on the dirt path, and battle was still in full swing. Horses were galloping forward like lightning. He tried rolling off the path but his body was paralyzed because of the impact of heavy blows.He helplessly looked around, everyone around was busy hitting , slashing and killing each other.He lay there helplessly waiting to be crushed under running horses.

He saw a warrior on a horse racing towards him, he thought the enemy has recognized him. He shut his eyes waiting to be killed.Instead he heard the horse halting next to him, the rider got off and moved closer to him. He opened his eyes and saw the deepest grey-green eyes looking into his very soul.The rider's face was covered, but he knew its a woman, she wore the Metzian grey and black uniform. She looked at him again and dragged his body and left it hidden behind a tree trunk, safe. The Huns won the battle Razell was rescued and healed.

Something inside him changed after the incident, he no longer enjoyed the struggle and violence for power and control. The idea of killing another human for more land and wealth started to repulse him.
One day he gave up his generalship and left in search of the girl who saved him.
He traveled length and width of the Metzian territory, he inquired at all army posts but no one ever saw a girl in the army. Months had passed by, his search bore no results. He lived on the leftovers of the inns and slept under the  sky on cold rocks. His body had lost its strength  and vigour. He was living only to meet his savior one more time and thank her. He found her no where, one evening, tired he climbed the sacred plateau of the pilgrims in search of her elusive saviour. He sat on the edge admiring the sun setting across the mountainous expanse.

His heart was sad and heavy, his journey felt incomplete. His life lost its meaning. A drop of tear fell from his tired eyes.He wiped his tears with his sleeve.He looked to his right and saw a stone statue of the goddess of the peace. He stood up stunned, It was the same  pair of eyes he was looking for, all this time.It was the statue of the goddess of peace. For several minutes he stared at it in disbelieve, he ran to the monastry uphill to confirm.He found several paintings of her, same eyes, same look, same remembrance.He cried like a child.

He was overwhelmed at the thought that a goddess came to save the life of a brutal killer like himself. He vowed to spread the message of peace  and undo hatred and violence from his being all together. He prayed to her for several years. The goddess guided him and revealed the universal knowledge to him. In a decade he was known all over the region and people came to him to absolve themselves of violence and rage from their being.
At last he understood why the goddess chose to save him. Only the one who had gone deep into violence would know how to be peaceful again. One has to be rich to be generous, hungry enough to eat, sad enough to cry, ruthless enough to learn the beauty of compassion. The question is only of recognizing that in oneself.

A long wait.

Lydia put on one of her favorite pink dresses, dabbed some her husband Sam's favorite lavender perfume on her wrist, wore her string of pearls and diamond studded brooch,placed her soft lacy handkerchief in her purse, took a handful of her son Stu's favorite chocolates,wore her heels, picked her parasol and walked towards the railway station. She was expecting them to reach the station by the 3.40 p.m. express.

People at the station took a look at her and then averted their eyes, this was no longer an unusual sight for them. Lydia has been coming to the station every afternoon for last 5 years expecting her husband and son to arrive by late afternoon express from Stuttgart. She waited till the last of the passengers got off the train, her eyes searched every coupe for her loved ones, but they never showed up.With a heavy heart she got up and went back home.
The next day she got dressed, left her house and waited for them again.People felt sad for her so they did not bother her.
Exactly 5 years ago her husband and son, were going to arrive by the 3.40 express, but there was a big train crash. Both of them died in the crash.The shock was too much for her to handle, she did not even grieve for them, she was not ready to believe what had happened. Instead she created a reverse time loop for her that would make her relive the events only till the time she waited for them at the station and the rest of the painful memory got lost somewhere in her subconscious mind.
Years passed by, she developed tuberculosis because she rarely ate, her mother had to forcefully feed her at times, to keep her alive.

On August 28th 1958, she waited as usual, the express arrived on time. Her husband and son got off the train. They rushed towards each other, hugged and wept. The reunion was long since due. After shedding joyous tears for each other, the two of them gestured her to get into the train with them, she joined them and then the family took off.
For Lydia it was a release from a prison to leave her body that held painful memories of the past. Now she knew we as beings are never separated from our loved ones, we meet them again in different realities or in different bodies, the love we feel for each other never dies, it remains with us and we experience it over and over again in different forms.

Then she saw brightest lights around her and  she went into a very deep sleep. when she opened her eyes, she saw herself in the tiny body of a little girl, she was lying in a wooden basket, her mother was digging potatoes from the ground, and talking to her in baby language.Her mother's eyes reminded her of her husband. An older man came close to them with a rake in his hand, he was her father, she chuckled with glee and threw her legs in the air in excitement, seeing her son again. They were now in Poland working as farm labourers.

This time they chose to know the fulfillment of being close to the earth and living with less resources but more contentment and love.

Fistful of gratitude

Okuno was an old fisherman who lived in a tiny village by the river in North Japan. His wife Aoi was a thin frail 60 year old woman. Okuno left in the morning, went by the river, caught little fish, sold it to the village vendor and bought liquor and rice.

Aoi knew of him well, she tried hard to save some money for a rainy day but his habits did not allow her that margin. It was a poverty ridden life with half filled stomachs and frosty cold weather.
She cooked rice frugally and survived mostly on left over catch that Okuno brought home, by the end the week the rationed rice ran out. The last fistful of rice she carried to the river and threw it in the water and the next day Okuno caught plenty of fish and made enough money to buy more rice for coming week.

The ritual continued till Aoi got really sick one day. She had no strength left in her body to take care of the house and Okuno. He was working hard now, he left early in the morning to catch fish, returned home by the afternoon to cook a meal for his wife and himself. When he started running out of rice, he mentioned his helplessness to Aoi. She asked him take take the last fistful of rice by the river and offer it to the fish.
He did not understand her reasoning, he told her " you are sick and I don't have enough money to buy more rice, why do you want me to throw the last bit into the river?"

Aoi said "My grandmother told my mother once 'When we give back what we receive from nature with gratitude in our heart, the universe showers us with more".
"I have been doing this for last forty years of our lives, when the last bit of rice is left in our reserves. I go by the river and offer it to the fish and river, thanking them for providing food on our plates, Next morning by some unspoken rule, you caught more fish and brought rice home for the next week, this has been going on for last 40 years".

Okuno kissed her ailing wife's forehead, knowing the last bits of loving wisdom from her would keep him warm in harsh winter to come.

Cause and Effect

Diego was a handsome young man with perfect muscular body, bronzed skin and chiseled features everything was perfect except for one thing. He had thorns on his head instead of hair.It made him look something of a monster. Since his childhood people made fun of him because of thorns on his head.They harassed him and made him cry. This made him bitter and angry from inside.He was angry with the world.
It made him very unhappy, doctors or healers had no answers or solutions for him.
He was growing more and more unhappy by the day. Finally he decided to pay a visit to the wise old man who lived by the countryside. Everybody said he would know the solution to his weird problem.
The old man after hearing his problem said "There is only one solution to your problem, every time you feel angry about thorns on your head,think about flowers", saying this he left the building.Diego stared at the door and pondered over the unimaginable solution offered to him. He thought the old man is making fun of him like others.

Desperate times ask for desperate measures, so he decided to pay heed to the old man's advice.Soon it became his habit every time he had angry thoughts about the thorns on his head he replaced them with replaced them with thoughts of  roses, lavender, daisies, any kind of flower he could think of. One morning he looked into the mirror and found a few rose buds appearing on his head, puzzled, he cut them off. Morning after, his head was covered with roses instead of thorns.
He wore a hat to cover the bouquet of flowers that grew on his head and ran to the old man. Diego yelled " I followed your advice thinking it will make my thorns disappear, but look what do I have growing on my head  now ", saying this he took off his hat.
The old man replied " So it worked ! look all the thorns have disappeared from your head."
Then he added, " I know you are feeling frustrated and helpless, but I must tell you everything has a cause and effect, your mother was very angry when you were in her womb, because your father had abandoned her, she passed on those angry thoughts to your brain, which appeared as thorns on your head when you were born.When other children teased you it made you angry, and those thorns kept on growing. By the time you were a grown man you had big thorns growing on your head.Now you are recirculating that anger every time you look at your hair or feel frustrated about it. Your unhappy and angry thoughts propel them to grow.It is a chain of negative emotions, a cycle of cause and effect, more angry you got more they grew. More they grew, angrier you became. So now seeing these flowers I know you have broken the cycle of cause and effect and a new chain a new possibility a new vortex has opened. Which has a positive affirmation to it, give it sometime and see the change."
Diego did not understand much but he left feeling lighter and less discontent. On his way he noticed women were looking at him  differently.The flowers on his head were accentuating his features giving him the appearance of an angel.With thorns the same face that reflected monstrosity now flowers are giving the vibe of an angelic being to him.

A few weeks later he found a nice friendly girl, she accepted him completely and a rapid transition came over him.He was no longer unhappy or an angry person. He felt joyous when he woke up in the morning and went to bed with gratitude in his heart.
On his wedding day his bride noticed what a  handsome man Diego is, with his lustrous dark hair and chiseled features he truly looked like a Greek god.