“And then what happened? Come on, tell me please, grandpa, what happened. What did he do next!!”, Eli asked his grandfather.
The grandfather shoved few more sticks into the fire that he kept burning, something he learned from his Master. He kindled the fire in the pit next to the house in a shallow crevice in the ground. He picked that spot because it was protected in all types of weather. He had kept the fire burning for over 26 years, as many years as he remembered his Master passing away to his ultimate Samadhi.
“Then nothing happened. He didn’t do anything else. He just walked back to town with me and we went to the next town where we can trade some Frankincense for food.”
“Come in Eli and have your food”. Eli ran off to the kitchen to feast on the lovely baked fish that grandma prepared for him every Sunday. Matthew and his family celebrated Sunday in the memory of the Master.
Matthew kept staring into fire. The story he told Eli was true but he didn’t want to stir up old memory of still being with his Master, walking next to him, smelling his breath when he talked intermittently during their long journeys in the desert.
[36 years ago, on a cold morning in winter, location: somewhere around dead sea shore]
“But how do you know where you need to go? You have been traveling all your life, is that why?” Matthew asked his friend.
“Brother! I do not know where I am going! I go where my heart takes me, and where the trade takes me. I go where the Father tells me to go. I go where my Indian Master tells me to go”. Yeshua replied.
“Don’t you ever get lost?” Matthew wondered.
“Yes! All the time! But I don’t mind. I know that the Mother will take care of me! She always has…” Yeshua smiled back.
“You have said that before, but I still don’t understand it. How is that the experience of being alive that you call Mother, the one who puts you through the misery, is also taking care of you in the times of severe hardship?”
“One day you will understand when the moment comes. Just remember to surrender”. Yeshua patted Matthew on his shoulder.
“But Arkada! the Frankincense trade is seasonal. There is very little resin on the trees in this area. You travel hundreds of miles to collect few insects filled droplets, you sell it in the market the next day after careful preparation for hours. You don’t accept any thing from me or the other brothers. How do you make enough living?” Matthew asked.
“Brother! Never fear the unknown. Father created the world through the Mother. He maintains the world through the Mother and one day he will complete it through the Mother. Then why should you fear? I always get enough Frankincense to live happily for few months. And no, I accept gifts…when Father says so. I return the gifts. Remember I ate that fish your wife made for me last year. I even ate some of the bones! It was delicious.”
“Yes, Arkada! I am tired of hearing my wife tell that story to her friends in the town. We are now making fish for everyone now. It is all thanks to you and your blessings.”
“Thank the Lord within, Matthew. I am only an instrument; for his blessings are endless and unfathomable. Very mysterious is he! But his love is grand. More than you love your wife or you will love your children or your grandchildren.”
Matthew stood aghast knowing that Yeshua has just blessed his wife with a child perfectly knowing that they have tried for many years and had gotten nowhere. Matthew was about to cry and thank him; that’s when Yeshua stopped him and silently gestured him to be quiet and look within.
Look within. Look within. Look within, Matthew. Yeshua told Matthew many times. Matthew stood in complete awe.
Hours passed. They had now walked toward the body of water to soak their tired feat. For next hour or so, the two friends spent some time on their own. Matthew collected wood for the fire while Yeshua looked towards the water and calm waves in complete silence.
“Arkada! Arkada! Run! Run for your life! Look at that big wave approaching! Run! Let’s go before it drowns us!” Matthew threw away the precious dry wood that he had carefully collected and ran towards the last known location where he left Yeshua as he saw a massive rogue wave approaching them.
“Yeshu Arkada! Look! there is a wave coming our way. Follow me, I used to come to the town nearby when I was a kid…let’s run away, quickly!” Matthew yelled at top of his lungs. He knew that Yeshua was around there somewhere but could not find him while the rogue wave was quickly gaining on them.
“Brother! How long will you run away from your troubles? There is no way for us to go. You will drown if you go in any direction.” Matthew looked up and saw Yeshua standing tall on a stone looking calmly at the big Wall of Water coming towards them. Matthew trembled and shrieked with fear. He looked back at Yeshua and quickly jumped over onto the rock next to him.
Matthew quickly reviewed his life in those few moments while waiting for the water to approach. He thought about his wife and how the prophecy Yeshua made would never be fulfilled. He thought about how he had wasted his life worrying about everything and how to pay back his forefather's debt to the collectors who for generations have been asking for the debt to be settled. He thought about how happy he was when he first saw Yeshua and quickly became friends. He thought about how familiar Yeshua’s smile looked then. He looked back at Yeshua. Yeshua looked at him and smiled back. Matthew realized Yeshua’s smile was accompanied by complete and utter silence; he just realized this is the first time he listened to absolute silence…then he heard the water approaching. He closed his eyes…and fell unconscious.
Matthew opened his eyes while lying on Yeshua's side in drenched sand next to his dry clothes. He touched them to believe the unbelievable; his eyes searched for his friend. From the corner of his eyes, he saw a wall of water dispersing in smaller and smaller waves and a flash of bright white light walking towards his right. He looked again in the direction of the water till the water receded. The ball of white light approached him. He couldn’t focus his eyes for a moment; but when he did he couldn’t believe his eyes. His friend Yeshua, was dressed in the brightest white clothes with heavenly glow around him, and he was sliding towards him over the pool of water. He looked around him and saw a whirlpool as if he was a rock and the water simply carried around him. He got up on his elbow to fully grasp the vision he was having. He watched Yeshua finally touch his hand and pull him up next to him. Slowly, Matthew’s vision adjusted as he could feel his friend’s presence as he was used to. He realized he had been seeing double vision. He finally saw the reality behind the reality that he was used to. In that state of mind, he looked toward Yeshua and saw the etheric sheen that surrounded him, the silence that shrouded him, the rosy glow of the Mother that bestowed upon him, and the clean, in fact, the cleanest smell he had every smelled, emanating from Yeshua’s body.
Matthew fell down again, this time he became unconscious for days.
When he came back he realized he was in his home next to his wife who was worriedly making bread.
“Where is Yeshua? Am I dead?”
“Finally!” the woman ran outside to call on Yeshua.
Yeshua arrived in Matthew’s clothes that his wife had made for him; they were bit small for him. Matthew thought Yeshua looked like what his son would look like if his wife would indeed be able to give birth to their child.
Yeshua smiled and put his hand over Matthew’s hand.
“Brother! Just remember to surrender next time.” Yeshua smiled and quietly walked out of the house.
Matthew watched his friend leave. He noticed the little bag full of oily resin on his waist.
Matthew closed his eyes and he finally understood what Yeshua meant when he said, Look Within.