“So tell me, what did you feel when you saw that young girl in the market today?” Yeshua asked his oldest disciple, Mima. Mima had mixed ancestry. His face looked as Tibetan as his mother’s face and his body was stocky like his Greek father. Mima’s face was perpetually in grief. He had a shiny bald spot in the middle of his head. Yeshua made fun of his bald spot; Mima knew that Yeshua had no malice. He said, it was perfect to hold the nectar of the moon because you could see the moon even when moon is not out. This made Mima laugh out loud again and again when Yeshua went away on his pilgrimage to India. Yeshua made the arduous journey to India and back every few years and every time he passed through the town on the border of Tibet and Gandhar (modern day Pakistan), he would stay with Mima for few days to break the journey. Once Mima asked Yeshua why he made such arduous journeys. Yeshua always kept quiet. Mima eventually stopped asking these questions. But it became his lifelong question and pursuit to know about his friend’s aimless purpose.
Mima replied back in response to Yeshua’s question, “I felt lust. I felt strange sensation of being in love, being taken by mad sexual urge, and at the same time being full of pure hatred towards myself and towards her.”
Mima knew that the Master already knew but he wanted to hear it from his mouth.
Yeshua asked, “Why be ashamed of it? Acknowledge it. It’s real. It’s now. It’s here. Know that the source of your anger toward the beggar boy afterwards is entirely due to your embarrassment about me knowing that you were blindly attracted to that girl. Always be on look out for uncontrolled, rampant and unacknowledged emotions and then you will be able to witness it. Know that there is always harmony and that which we call love that guides the greater and smaller events, however malign or benign. ” Both fell silent.
And with that silence, the two friends retired into their respective rooms in Mima’s house for an afternoon nap, which was on top of a hill overlooking the entire town. You can see miles from up there on a clear day. Himalayas were out in the distance in South, snow sprinkled fingers of smaller mountains stretched across the horizon in West and wide-open Tibetan plateau appeared in the North and in the East. From the house, one can view high desert vistas during the day and gorgeous skies filled with stars during the night. Mima had inherited the house on the hill from his father.
Yeshua told him that he was very lucky to have a friend like Mima because he had such a pure heart. He told Mima that the roof of his house was his favorite spot to meditate before entering sylvan Himalayan forests to the South. Mima felt very proud when he heard the latter.
After the nap, Mima came out and sat next to his friend, who was stroking Mima’s beautiful Persian rug with his toes. Mima knew that his friend was not the one who enjoyed the riches but he was enjoying the sensation of the beautiful work mixed with the roughness of the material. Mima also realized that his friend felt ecstasy when he realized that Mima had bought that rug from a Persian family who all worked on it very hard for 8 long months and Mima paid them twice the price. Using that money, the Persian family was able to survive the long and harsh winter. Secretly, Mima had desired that this story would impress his friend. Yeshua gave the familiar ‘I know what you are thinking’ look to Mima. Mima again fell silent. He thought he would bury himself in the Earth if he could. He let out a deep sigh. He was beginning to realize the importance of a great deed had nothing to do with one’s own self but as a service to one’s greater Self which is comprised of other human beings. He felt ashamed and embarrassed. His rosy cheeks became red with shame and guilt. He was beginning to understand the act of selfless service. He felt grateful that his friend was there to put things into perspective.
Yeshua smiled at Mima’s infant daughter who smiled back at him and stared above Yeshua’s head.
Because you see, when Yeshua talked, angels visited and listened. Such is the power of Love.
Yeshua felt this was the right moment to talk. Yeshua rarely talked. But when he talked everyone listened. He talked spontaneously. He talked with great resonance as he felt his heart would churn and he would collapse if he didn’t talk. He knew that these moments were rare and were special. His eyes would transfix. His spine would become straight. His face would appear calmer than usual. And there was something magical in that voice because it came directly from the Universal Heart. And so, everyone listened.
“When I was 22 years old, I healed the foot of my aunt Sophia. I didn’t know that it was broken. I didn’t know that she was in pain. I sat down to press her feet as I usually did every night. I felt warm tingling sensation in my hands and in my spine. I don’t remember what had happened. Only minutes later, my aunt Sophia poked me with her healed foot and said, ‘never talk to anyone about your gift, because the day you talk about it, is the day you will bring your current lifetime to close. Always give healing equally to those to deserve it the most and those who deserve the least. Do your work in secret and silence. Never trade the joy, tranquility and peace that healing brings you for the mental satisfaction of telling everyone that you did something good to them.’ I heal because I know that there is a greater power acting through me. I am only an instrument. I do not know how it happens. I simply open my eyes and ask Himzadi for his blessings. My eyes weep and my heart aches at their pain. I know in that moment that I am not this body. I know in that moment, that Himzadi is always present behind the scenes. I am only a pot very much like that one in the corner in which Himzadi pours himself. And just for that brief moment when he comes through me, I know that I and my Father are One. I am the Father at that moment. My heart expands and becomes as big as that mountain.”
Mima’s infant daughter chuckled. She looked back on top of Yeshua’s head. Her gaze became fixed as Yeshua wiped tears off of his eyes.
“Himzadi is always present. He is present here now. My aunt Sophia knew this. She also knew other secrets but wanted me to discover them for myself. It was much later that I found out in my meditations that she was the Mother. Mima! the Mother was with me! She was my aunt. She let me touch her feet every night. I knew this always but just as the rust keeps coming back to that iron skillet of yours, our hearts become rusted with the rigid veils that we put on ourselves. Our hearts are tainted and our minds are dirty because we do not realize that the great Ananda and Love of the Father that sustains us. We think it is us that are doing this or that but Mima it is the Father that does everything. It is the Mother that does everything. This whole wide world is just him and her… There is no one else but them and their imperishable Love”.
Mima’s infant daughter now started sucking her thumb and began tossing her feet in the air. Mima caught the feet and tickled the foot with his fingers. The baby laughed out loud in ecstasy. Mima felt her joy for the first time. He felt different. He felt anew. He felt good.
“Mima, I must tell you a story. It was long ago, even before this town was settled. I once went to India to see the Father with my aunt Sophia. I didn’t know then who he was (the Father). I just did what my aunt Sophia asked me to do. I trusted her deeply. On our way back from India, we were traveling with a caravan and stopped by in the dusty town in Anatolia (modern day Turkey). It was a very hot day; we had run out of water and food for our animals. We ourselves were parched. Instead of staying in town to drink, eat and sleep, I decided to take off on my own. Somehow I knew where to go. I walked and walked and walked till I came up on a hill so far away from the oasis that I forgot that it existed or where I had come. Night fell. I felt weak with exhaustion and thought I was going to collapse. I sat down with the Frankincense that I had gotten from the Arabian bandits for healing their camels. I burnt only two pieces because they usually burn for two hours each. All the while when I was up there, I was in a different world. I felt so familiar with the rock I sat on. The rock was so smooth as if somebody had polished it. I sat down, half collapsed and half unconscious with hunger and thirst. I closed my eyes and then it began. I had a series of visions.” Mima looked at Yeshua in disbelief. Yeshua’s eyes were half closed and he had his gaze fixed out in the distance.
That’s when Mima saw a rose-like flower that he had never
seen before. It had come out of Yeshua. He could smell the Frankincense from
that rose, and saw that rose entered his heart. Mima sat there in disbelief and
awe. He felt incredible love towards his daughter for the first time. He kissed
her tiny hands as the daughter looked at him and shrieked with ecstasy.
“I always had visions ever since I was a child”, Yeshua continued, “But these were different. I have never had such visions. True visions are affirmations of something that is true about you and you will know it. Beware Mima! For there are false visions and true visions…I was covered with blue and white light. I stepped in a different world, much different than ours. I felt joy of that realm that is unparallel to ours but it is our destiny. There I saw myself on a throne sitting next to you. You wore an incredible crown adorned with jewels. You had golden white light emanating from your heart. You looked at me and asked me what love is. I replied back, ‘Love is the harmony between us, between things, between all, O Deva of Five Senses, however benign or malign.’ You smiled and said, ‘I know all about love. See how much I love my wife and these Apsaras! I give them the freedom to use me and my power to experience whatever they want.’ I said, ‘O Great King of Five Senses! Do not be a fool! For you are not the doer. You may be powerful and bedecked in jewels as these beautiful energies of yours traverse around you only by the grace of the Mother! Know thyself to be a greater spirit who does all the magic of movement and give you that experience of being. That spirit is the source. Not you, not I, not these Apsaras, !’ Then a fireball appeared out of your heart and entered your heart again. In an instant, you had created a soul. He appeared bright and radiant. But you were taken back. When I adjusted my vision to yours, I saw what you saw. You became occupied with lust as you saw the feminine form, much like the lust you showed towards that young girl in the market today, and at the same time, you also gravitated towards hatred as you saw the masculine form. There it was! The King of Five Senses, who had the elemental Deva and Devi in his charge, was now pitifully lustful and hateful towards the emanation of his own self as half Shiv and half Shakti ! The Spirit had chosen to teach you a lesson and to make you an instrument to create something out of you that reflected your inner nature; the nature that is in the process of being perfected and refined. You see, all that we see is his dance with his energy! His Love which is Her is what binds us out of that dance and makes us dance together with them! You gave in to your lower nature and gave up your throne! In an instant you were thrown down on the Earth by the Mother to experience and master these very emotions again.”
Mima listened to the Master with teary eyes as he saw what the Master showed him these visions through his inner sight.
Mima saw from the perspective of the young soul that he created whom he called Dhatu. He experienced purity of universal heart from Dhatu’s perspective and realized what Dhatu had first experienced was pure love as he was created. Love, which then became tainted with Dhatu’s own veil of illusion, i.e. distrust towards Divine and conflict towards its own self.
“You see my friend, Love is what keeps us together. Love is what creates us and to choose pure unconditional Love is our ultimate destiny. You chose hatred instead. And so, in order to bring your ego down and to teach you a lesson, the Mother threw you on Earth as the royal dancer to be and Dhatu as Petronas, the Roman general to be.”
Then Yeshua told Mima, the story of Petronas and the Royal Dancer...