“So tell me, what did you feel when you
saw that young girl in the market today?” Yeshua asked his oldest disciple,
Mima. Mima had mixed ancestry. His face looked as Tibetan as his mother’s face
and his body was stocky like his Greek father. Mima’s face was
perpetually in grief. He had a shiny bald spot in the middle of his head. Yeshua made fun
of his bald spot; Mima knew that Yeshua had no malice. He said, it was perfect
to hold the nectar of the moon because you could see the moon even when moon is
not out. This made Mima laugh out loud again and again when Yeshua went away on
his pilgrimage to India. Yeshua made the arduous journey to India and back
every few years and every time he passed through the town on the border of
Tibet and Gandhar (modern day Pakistan), he would stay with Mima for few days
to break the journey. Once Mima asked Yeshua why he made such arduous journeys.
Yeshua always kept quiet. Mima eventually stopped asking these questions. But
it became his lifelong question and pursuit to know about his friend’s aimless
purpose.
Mima replied back in response to Yeshua’s question, “I felt lust. I felt
strange sensation of being in love, being taken by mad sexual urge, and at the
same time being full of pure hatred towards myself and towards her.”
Mima knew that the Master already knew but he wanted to hear
it from his mouth.
Yeshua asked, “Why be ashamed of it? Acknowledge it. It’s real. It’s
now. It’s here. Know that the source of your anger toward the beggar boy
afterwards is entirely due to your embarrassment about me knowing that you were
blindly attracted to that girl.
Always be on look out for uncontrolled, rampant and unacknowledged
emotions and then you will be able to witness it. Know that there is always
harmony and that which we call love that guides the greater and smaller events,
however malign or benign. ” Both fell silent.
And with that silence, the two friends retired into their respective rooms
in Mima’s house for an afternoon nap, which was on top of a hill overlooking the
entire town. You can see miles from up there on a clear day. Himalayas were out
in the distance in South, snow sprinkled fingers of smaller mountains stretched
across the horizon in West and wide-open Tibetan plateau appeared in the North
and in the East. From the house, one can view high desert vistas during the day
and gorgeous skies filled with stars during the night. Mima had inherited the
house on the hill from his father.
Yeshua told him that he was very lucky to
have a friend like Mima because he had such a pure heart. He told Mima that the
roof of his house was his favorite spot to meditate before entering sylvan Himalayan
forests to the South. Mima felt very proud when he heard the latter.
After the nap, Mima came out and sat next to his friend, who was
stroking Mima’s beautiful Persian rug with his toes. Mima knew that his friend
was not the one who enjoyed the riches but he was enjoying the sensation of the
beautiful work mixed with the roughness of the material. Mima also realized
that his friend felt ecstasy when he realized that Mima had bought that rug
from a Persian family who all worked on it very hard for 8 long months and Mima
paid them twice the price. Using that money, the Persian family was able to
survive the long and harsh winter. Secretly, Mima had desired that this story
would impress his friend. Yeshua gave the familiar ‘I know what you are thinking’
look to Mima. Mima again fell silent. He thought he would bury himself in the
Earth if he could. He let out a deep sigh. He was beginning to realize the
importance of a great deed had nothing to do with one’s own self but as a service
to one’s greater Self which is comprised of other human beings. He felt ashamed
and embarrassed. His rosy cheeks became red with shame and guilt. He was
beginning to understand the act of selfless service. He felt grateful that his friend was there to put things
into perspective.
Yeshua smiled at Mima’s infant daughter who smiled back at
him and stared above Yeshua’s head.
Because you see, when Yeshua talked, angels visited and listened. Such
is the power of Love.
Yeshua felt this was the right moment to talk. Yeshua
rarely talked. But when he talked everyone listened. He talked spontaneously.
He talked with great resonance as he felt his heart would churn and he would
collapse if he didn’t talk. He
knew that these moments were rare and were special. His eyes would transfix.
His spine would become straight. His face would appear calmer than usual. And
there was something magical in that voice because it came directly from the
Universal Heart. And so, everyone
listened.
“When I was 22 years old, I healed the foot of
my aunt Sophia. I didn’t know that it was broken. I didn’t know that she was in
pain. I sat down to press her feet as I usually did every night. I felt warm
tingling sensation in my hands and in my spine. I don’t remember what had
happened. Only minutes later, my aunt Sophia poked me with her healed foot and
said, ‘never talk to anyone about your gift, because the day you talk about it,
is the day you will bring your current lifetime to close. Always give healing
equally to those to deserve it the most and those who deserve the least. Do
your work in secret and silence. Never trade the joy, tranquility and peace
that healing brings you for the mental satisfaction of telling everyone that
you did something good to them.’ I heal because I know that there is a greater
power acting through me. I am only an instrument. I do not know how it happens.
I simply open my eyes and ask Himzadi for his blessings. My eyes weep and my
heart aches at their pain. I know in that moment that I am not this body. I
know in that moment, that Himzadi is always present behind the scenes. I am
only a pot very much like that one in the corner in which Himzadi pours
himself. And just for that brief moment when he comes through me, I know that I
and my Father are One. I am the
Father at that moment. My heart expands and becomes as big as that mountain.”
Mima’s infant daughter
chuckled. She looked back on top of Yeshua’s head. Her gaze became fixed as
Yeshua wiped tears off of his eyes.
“Himzadi is always present. He is present here now. My aunt Sophia knew this. She also knew other secrets but wanted me to discover them for myself. It was much later that I found out in my meditations that she was the Mother. Mima! the Mother was with me! She was my aunt. She let me touch her feet every night. I knew this always but just as the rust keeps coming back to that iron skillet of yours, our hearts become rusted with the rigid veils that we put on ourselves. Our hearts are tainted and our minds are dirty because we do not realize that the great Ananda and Love of the Father that sustains us. We think it is us that are doing this or that but Mima it is the Father that does everything. It is the Mother that does everything. This whole wide world is just him and her… There is no one else but them and their imperishable Love”.
Mima’s infant daughter now started sucking
her thumb and began tossing her feet in the air. Mima caught the feet and
tickled the foot with his fingers. The baby laughed out loud in ecstasy. Mima
felt her joy for the first time. He felt different. He felt anew. He felt good.
“Mima, I must tell you a story. It was long ago, even before this town
was settled. I once went to India to see the Father with my aunt Sophia. I
didn’t know then who he was (the Father). I just did what my aunt Sophia asked
me to do. I trusted her deeply. On our way back from India, we were traveling
with a caravan and stopped by in the dusty town in Anatolia (modern day
Turkey). It was a very hot day; we had run out of water and food for our
animals. We ourselves were parched. Instead of staying in town to drink, eat
and sleep, I decided to take off on my own. Somehow I knew where to go. I
walked and walked and walked till I came up on a hill so far away from the
oasis that I forgot that it existed or where I had come. Night fell. I felt weak with exhaustion and thought
I was going to collapse. I sat down with the Frankincense that I had gotten
from the Arabian bandits for healing their camels. I burnt only two pieces
because they usually burn for two hours each. All the while when I was up
there, I was in a different world. I felt so familiar with the rock I sat on.
The rock was so smooth as if somebody had polished it. I sat down, half
collapsed and half unconscious with hunger and thirst. I closed my eyes and
then it began. I had a series of visions.” Mima looked at Yeshua in disbelief.
Yeshua’s eyes were half closed and he had his gaze fixed out in the distance.
That’s when Mima saw a rose-like flower that he had never
seen before. It had come out of Yeshua. He could smell the Frankincense from
that rose, and saw that rose entered his heart. Mima sat there in disbelief and
awe. He felt incredible love towards his daughter for the first time. He kissed
her tiny hands as the daughter looked at him and shrieked with ecstasy.
“I always had visions ever since I was a child”, Yeshua continued, “But
these were different. I have never had such visions. True visions are
affirmations of something that is true about you and you will know it. Beware
Mima! For there are false visions and true visions…I was covered with blue and
white light. I stepped in a different world, much different than ours. I felt
joy of that realm that is unparallel to ours but it is our destiny. There I saw
myself on a throne sitting next to you. You wore an incredible crown adorned
with jewels. You had golden white light emanating from your heart. You looked
at me and asked me what love is. I replied back, ‘Love is the harmony between
us, between things, between all, O Deva of Five Senses, however benign or
malign.’ You smiled and said, ‘I know all about love. See how much I love my
wife and these Apsaras! I give them the freedom to use me and my power to
experience whatever they want.’ I said, ‘O Great King of Five Senses! Do not be
a fool! For you are not the doer. You may be powerful and bedecked in jewels as
these beautiful energies of yours traverse around you only by the grace of the
Mother! Know thyself to be a greater spirit who does all the magic of movement
and give you that experience of being. That spirit is the source. Not you, not
I, not these Apsaras, !’ Then a fireball appeared out of your heart and entered
your heart again. In an instant, you had created a soul. He appeared bright and
radiant. But you were taken back. When I adjusted my vision to yours, I saw
what you saw. You became occupied with lust as you saw the feminine form, much
like the lust you showed towards that young girl in the market today, and at
the same time, you also gravitated towards hatred as you saw the masculine
form. There it was! The King of Five Senses, who had the elemental Deva and
Devi in his charge, was now pitifully lustful and hateful towards the emanation
of his own self as half Shiv and half Shakti ! The Spirit had chosen to teach
you a lesson and to make you an instrument to create something out of you that
reflected your inner nature; the nature that is in the process of being
perfected and refined. You see, all that we see is his dance with his energy!
His Love which is Her is what binds us out of that dance and makes us dance
together with them! You gave in to your lower nature and gave up your throne!
In an instant you were thrown down on the Earth by the Mother to experience and
master these very emotions again.”
Mima listened to the Master with teary eyes as he saw
what the Master showed him these visions through his inner sight.
Mima saw from the perspective of the young soul that he created whom he
called Dhatu. He experienced purity of universal heart from Dhatu’s perspective
and realized what Dhatu had first experienced was pure love as he was created.
Love, which then became tainted with Dhatu’s own veil of illusion, i.e.
distrust towards Divine and conflict towards its own self.
“You see my friend, Love is what keeps us
together. Love is what creates us and to choose pure unconditional Love is our
ultimate destiny. You chose hatred instead. And so, in order to bring your ego
down and to teach you a lesson, the Mother threw you on Earth as the royal dancer
to be and Dhatu as Petronas, the Roman general to be.”
Then Yeshua told Mima, the story of Petronas and the Royal
Dancer...
Petronas and the Royal Dancer
Dhatu was given a lifetime as Petronas
and Indra was given the lifetime as Petronas’ lover by the Mother so both can
realize deeper truths of surrender and trust. Petronas as Dhatu was born in
conflict, the very conflict in Indra, as distrust in the Spirit. If Dhatu
wanted something, he would have it as if it was his inborn right. He was born in
Rome about 500 years after the time of Yeshua. He grew up in the territories
outside of Rome. He was put through a hard military training but with no
purpose in mind other than protecting the outside territories of Rome. Petronas
had loving parents, good teachers and kindred friends. He was brought up with a
sense of loyalty towards Rome and the emperor. Petronas was invited in Rome
when he was 30 years old to witness the celebration of emperor’s son’s birth.
The emperor was old and was delighted that he finally had an heir. This was the
only time Petronas met and saw the emperor. Petronas also traveled around Rome
and its outlying suburbs, made acquaintances, and saw that Rome was corrupt and
crumbling from within. The senators were corrupt and disheveled. The citizens
of Rome had finer riches which were collected and assembled from territories
but did not value each other. Rome was no longer the shining example of
democracy and had become plutocracy and retched aristocracy. The government in
Rome poisoned itself as if a scorpion had bitten itself and was in teeters as
the emperor held on to his tiny amount of power over the inner circle in Rome.
Petronas became convinced that there was
no such thing as higher power and that the world was a grim place. Petronas
felt that the regime had absolutely no goal in mind, there were no ideals to
follow, and there were plethora of fictitious enemies created by the government
to keep the citizens occupied with ever looming threat. Petronas looked on and
realized that even if such enemies did exist, there would be none to defeat
them, as none would be able to lead an army. No one cared to retain the
autonomy of the city-state. Instead, he noticed, they bickered and plotted
against themselves. They had no greater reason to live other than pry on each
other and live like vermin and insects at the bottom of a briny cesspool.
Celebrations of emperor’s son’s birthday started. After
watching the emperor make fool of himself in front of hundreds of people in a
gladiator ring, Petronas approached the emperor in the middle of the night with
a knife in his palace. Petronas was filled with conflicting emotions: he felt
sad about the senile emperor and at the same time disgusted with his inability
to hold on to his power. He seemed to care about Rome and a fictitious ideal
and at the same time he became violent at the very thought of his attachment to
Rome. With the sharp blade pointed two inches away from the emperor’s throat,
he smiled wickedly as he awakened the king with by kicking his knee. ‘Give me
five Anatolian territories to the East and I shall leave you unharmed.” He said
to the emperor. “You can continue your charade only here in Rome but no
further. I will send you your share five times a year but I want an absolute control
and a complete autonomy over the Anatolian territories.” Emperor yielded, he
had no choice.
And so Petronas became his own idol. He worshipped himself.
He became occupied with getting things right for their own sake if it suited
his fantasy. He had no inner goals to follow, no higher vistas of truth to
reach, no riches of the soul to enjoy; so he devised his own versions of Truth.
When the wise opposed his rule with positive criticism, he threw them in jail
or executed them. He showed compassion at times and showed merciless and
senseless idealism at other times. He raped young village women and donated
houses to the widows. He rode his horse out in the country for days by himself,
killed deer and wildlife with his crossbow, dragged the carcasses of the
animals behind his horse and left them out for vultures.
He rescued little baby wolves from the
predators by letting them cut through his flesh to save the puppies and he
ordered orphans to be killed at the monasteries. His outer nature became torn
in many ways. His inner nature stifled. He became dead as a dry well in the
middle of Anatolian dessert…until he met the royal dancer.”
Yeshua paused and swept the sweat off of his eyebrow, as he seemed to
process much of Petronas’ anger and un-channeled energy. He lifted the infant
in his arms and kissed the cheeks and sat her on his lap. It was a night filled
with bright stars and the baby had been playing after her nap and dinner. Mima,
his wife and the baby sat next to the fire as Yeshua kept the baby on his lap
keeping her feet warm by waiving his palm over the fire. Mima’s wife noticed
that the fire seemed to burn from nowhere and that there was no wood. Too tired
to say anything and too elated to witness the magical fire, she finally put her
head down in her lap and fell asleep after a busy day’s work.
Mima listened to his friend talk for hours into the night. He
recalled bits and pieces of his future lifetime.
Mima saw himself as a young boy full of radiance and purity
of heart. His body emanated a pure fragrance. He trained as a dancer and gave
his life to the art of dancing. He loved and learned by spinning with the
twirling saints of the desert, the Dervishes.
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